This is a headline on an actual news website.
You don’t know everything and I’m too scared to tell you but i guess it doesn’t matter cause it still won’t change a thing.
Can’t change it. I’ll love you forever.
I remember how it felt to see your conversations with her.
More than anything else I want to love you. But I can’t forget how it felt. I chose you for years. You don’t get to choose me now that it’s convenient for you.
The Coca cola company responding to complaints in 1891
finally some good fucking historical accuracy
Happy birthday honey. I miss you.
millennials: you can’t get a job by just walking in and handing in your resume anymore
people over 40:
one of my favorite threats is “youre not invited to my birthday party anymore”.
from ages 4 to 11 its one of the most heinous things you can say, then 12 through 17 its just embarassing cuz teenz think that thats a childish thing to say, but from 18 onward, it only gets more and more effective, if only because it confuses the person youre speaking to.
its like a verbal smoke bomb. it catches them off guard and disorients them to the point that they might not even know how to react.
Now you’ve thrown them off their rhythm
I think about you all the time, I see you in my dreams.
- Blythe Baird
Me, chewing on my Bad Decisions™ Bagel in the corner:
The Universe: What’s that in your mouth?
Me, chewing faster:
The Universe: I said, WHAT THE FUCK IS IN YOUR MOUTH